Strange Talks
by naruhina8
Summary: FOR ASP. ANIME HAPPY B DAY this is a one shot where L and Light ask each other strange questions!


**_Death Note_**

"L…Can I ask you a few questions that has been on my mind lately?" Light asked the young detective. "Yes what may of your concern shall be? I hope I can satisfy them quickly" L said. 'Ugh I hate how he gives me back a smart remark even for the simplest things!' Light thought sighing.

"Well how can you eat all those sweets and yet not weight a single ounce? I mean everyday you stay the same figure" Light asked waiting for L's reply.

"Hm first I rather what to hear your predictions to this cause before I explain Light" "I'm sure you have aleast a few eh" L said consuming the strawberry on his white plate.

"Well I have two in particular, first is you work out for a long period of time which is probulary uncommon"

"Second is that you have a big metabolism even at the state of age you're currently in" Light said looking at his coal black eyes as they stared right back,

"I guess I can see where you are coming from I can say your second conclusion has some part in that" L said putting down his cake.

"Well truthfully it is because the sugar burns off due to the fact I think a lot." L finished as he reclaimed the strawberry cake again. He started eating the whipped cream on the surface of the cake with the back of his fork.

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" Light asked getting angry at his comment L recently made.

"No I'm not saying those exact words you are exactly, I'm just _referring_ to, you don't think as much since you as well as others have a difficult time with this problem" L said trying to get out of situation in those words.

'Calm down or people will think you're making a big deal of this' Light said to himself.

"Didn't you mention there was more than one question on your mind?" L said moving on to a chocolate bar.

'Eh!? He already ate the whole cake?' Light thought so amazed at his unbelievable speed.

Light coughs as he prepares to ask another question.

"Well two questions anyway my other question for you is…Is it true that Misa called you a 'Mr. Stalker guy' While you obtained her under investigation?" Light said wanting for his expression towards this.

"That is false information she was simply saying that to Touta Matsuda" L say as he stopped his chewing on the sweet.

"Eh!? No she wasn't every time you would talk she would say that so actually-" Matsuda said before the rest of sentence was completed. L covered up his mouth with his hand.

He had forgotten the presence of him since he kept quiet during this whole time.

"Mffhu!" Matsuda said trying to get out of his strong grasp.

"He is talking nonsense Light!" L said grinning nervously.

"Well I got more evidence when you touched Misa's butt I don't know if you are trying to sexual harrest her in a way L" Light said as L blushed which was a rare thing to see.

"No! I didn't someone blamed me for their actions!" L shouted.

"Are you talking about my butt again L!? What a pervey stalker!" Misa said as she passed by our room.

She wore her usual hairstyle while carrying a neon shopping bag in her left hand.

She left with an "Hmp!" leaving you guys alone again. L let go of Matsuda as he also left with an angered look pestered on his face,

"So even Misa says you're a pervert and a stalker? What a disappoint L I have to say you amaze me every time" Light said as he laughed in his mental mind.

"You're getting the wrong picture!" L said.

"Don't get mad I sill have anthor one but don't that will be it" Light replied.

"Fine what is it?" L said.

"Do you have two children?" Light shouted pointing his finger at him.

"Eh!? Do you really think I would?" L yelled confused.

"Wait…You're not my daddy!" Near said as he was standing besides the doorway.

"…no!" L said getting more confused.

"Liar!" Near said. "Mellow! L isn't our daddy!" He said as the blonde stood next to him.

"Daddy!" they yelled landing on him.

"What the hell is going on!?" L said getting off the two weird children.

….

"Fine since you asked some questions I have the right to ask some then hm" L said calming down as he sat in his "normal" position.

"Fine by me" Light said leaning back on his chair.

"Why are you gay?"

….

"Eh!? I am NOT gay how would you get that idea!?"

…..

"That changes everything…."

"You see I got that because of your last name if you spell it backwards it says"

"IAMAGAY"

"I am a gay it says so I thought you did this on purpose so people will know you're trying to get "out" of the closet"

….

"Just ask the other question please" Light said unable to say anything else.

"Did you say 'I'm going to take this potato chip…and eat it?" L said looking straight at him the whole time.

"Er..Um yes" Light said looking away embarrassed.

"Mom! Light didn't take his medication again!" Light's sister said running to tell their mother.

"Damn it Sayu I did!" Light yelled frustrausted.

"Fine I want one more question for you Light" L said wanting to torture him more.

"Are you a shy person?" He asked.

"Eh?! Why would you think of something like that?" Light yelled getting out of his chair.

"Calm down it is just a question" L said perfectly calm almost knowing Light would over react to a thing that involves this.

"Well the answer is no" Light said sitting back.

"Really well I find that un true Light as I have more evidence and a witness!" L said giving Light a smile.

Light gulped.

"Misa!" L yelled as the blonde walked in.

"May you take a seat?" L said as Misa did so.

"Mr. Stalker guy what is it you want?" She said.

L ignored the last part of that.

"Is Light a shy person?" L asked her.

"Why yes it is just the other day well I'll tell you exactly how it happened!~" Misa said almost glad of telling it.

What happened:

Misa: Light, won't you sleep with me?

Light: ...Why are you saying that Misa?

Misa: I know, after we catch Kira, right? Don't be shy Light.

L: Please don't be shy, Light-kun.

Light: I'm not being shy.

L: Don't be serious about it either

Ha! I do remember that Misa thank you for your input!" L said as it looked like he wanted to laugh.

"Your welcome~" She said as she left once again. "Oh and L please don't stalk me no longer"

….

"So we're done here then?" Light said

"Yeah" L said agreeing

Both of them left the room as they both knew deep down they were even.

A/N

This is for Asp. Anime! Happy birthday! I'm really glad that you're my friend and helped me though with my fanfics you don't know how much I thank you! Anyway I hoped you liked it! .


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